7. the month of my birthday. the min hours you need for sleep.how many bf ive had.  the amount of words that could break your heart. the amount of people who don’t read this. i made this blog in hope to reach out and talk to people i tell people about it all the time and yet no one comes. its as if i talk to my self and read my own blog more then anyone else. i may just be over reacting or i maybe just freaking out cause i want someone to be there and comment on my post and tell me something…..anything. last night i was talking with dslacky on younow.com and i sent him a link and he gave me a shout out to 40 people. he was the only one to read it.  and even then i dont know if he did or not. in this blog i may seem like im ok like i have the perfect family like im rich and smart and beautiful. but thats not even close to what i am. my sisters are dramma queens who pick on me all the time. my brother barely talks to me and im not that close with my parents. im not rich but im not poor. as for beautiful, its hard to feel when im battling insecurities and depression all the time. i have not gone to a doctor and have him tell me i have depression but i know i do. i dont smile that often and i dont laugh unless i force my self to. i was so quiet and lonely and now its worse. im in a sea of people some days and i still feel all alone. i know its not safe to keep it bottled up but i have no one to share secrets with. im all alone all the time. in school there is only 55 people at most and that includes the teachers and every grade.i have one close friend and one friend, but without someone i can share my secrets to i dont have anyone. i have my animals. but they dont talk back and tell me im beautiful. 

someone told me that a cats purr is the best medican because it is pure love.  i agree but it does solve all problems. i have not had one boyfriend for longer then months.  they didnt even love me.

1)used me to make another girl jelouse

2)used me to make another girl jelouse

3)wanted my body (but didnt get it)

4)didnt even want to date me (lasted a week friends forced him in to dating me)

5)long distance and moved on to fast(might have been cheating with what i was told) 

6)was cheating on me

7)i was a rebound.


no guy has ever treated me right and now here i am dreaming about guys i cant have that are perfect that would understand me and would take care of me. where is my Mr. Right?

some one please save me



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