you are always beautiful

you are always beautiful



i’m sitting in the library and a guy walks in with a rose and a card. he is sending his wife on a bit of a treasure hunt for her birthday. it is so sweet. guys are amazing when they are like that. every girl deserves a guy like that. sweet things like that are cheesy but adorable. im not dating for a whole year and it started on August 1. so until then i can only dream of a guy doing that to me. 


i hate bullying. its rude and hurtful. people try to fit in and it just doesn’t work for some. we have problems with people and how they treat us. we aren’t funny. we don’t have a care about fashion we are different in a good way. but to everyone else we have problems. we say what we want. we do what we want. we tell you what we honestly think and we are outcast for it. why? that’s my main question. why? we are the same as you but you don’t like us because we wont follow you and your ways. you spread rumors about us and say we are the ones who deserve this because we said no to you. its wrong of us to want to be ourselves and not someone else followers. we speak our mind and it bugs them because we say no. we don’t like to be called ugly or have people tell us we are sluts whores or bitches because we don’t fit in. because we are trying to be our own person. every one has their own story and this is mine. two years ago i move to a place in nova scota, Canada. and i made the mistake of sitting in the backseat and saying no to the one girl everyone loves. “the queen bee” she asked for the backseat and i said she could sit with me she looked at me disgusted. and said no i shrugged and said OK. she then asked again if she could have “her” seat back i said that it wasn’t her seat. she said it was the one Robbi (bus driver) gave her. i said that i asked and there was no arranged seating and that i was free to sit where i wanted. that ticked her off a bit. so once again she said it was “her” seat. i said “i don’t see your name on it” she gave me a dirty look and sat up front. i just shrugged and cranked up my music. the next day her and the three guys she sat with were laughing and pointed at me a bit. the cutest one of the group came over and said hi. i didn’t hear him so i just turned my head and looked out the window.  they all laughed. i didn’t know that it was my biggest mistake yet. after that i satered being my self. i wore t shirts and ripped up jeans and a random pair of shoes. i always had my music on me. i didn’t have a phone at the time. i was just being me and it turned me in to an outcast with one friend. i didn’t care until she left and i was left alone . i face three months with no one next to me and a bunch of people picking on me. during my gym class i had hurt my back. i had been running and stopped kinda funny the teacher said to stretch out until my team was up to bat again. the people on my team thought i was doing just so i didn’t have to go out field. it was my turn up to bat and i hadn’t liked anything they were saying. i hit the ball so far that i got a home run. but that wasn’t the problem. a fast runner got it and i was feeling the pain burning in my back so i stopped at second and started stretching again.  the next day i asked if i could sit out. the teacher said yes. after class when we were changing the girls asked me why i wasnt playing. i said that my back had been hurt and i couldn’t do much. i got called a wimp. not right out lie “your a wimp” but by being compared to the other girls. they started by saying oh well its can be that bad. then they started saying that this girl broke her toe and is running around barefoot. or i would still be out playing with everyone else. that day i had gotten the back seat by running out to the bus first. i then pulled up my hood and started crying quietly. people didn’t like me and it hurt at first. because i thought there was something wrong with me. i didn’t have to worry about my stop because i was last off. that’s how i became socially awkward and don’t like people. i’m better now but if i get bad vibes from someone i stear clear.


music. My only escape from everything. the things that happen can be terrible and i just need some where to go. music can be calming upsetting or angering. i find it very relaxing. music can take away pain and hate. but it is also very annoying. people who love one direction talk about them and play there music 24/7 and it bugs me. it makes me mad. yes they are good looking and can sing but there just people like me. they were bullied before they got famous. im bullied but no one cares everyone just cares about the famous people. its kinda sad. if i could meet 1D i would tell them that i was bullied and that no one cares but they were bullied and everyone cares. its not right. people every where should be supported. yet only a few get the care nd support from other people. like one direction. they are awesome but what about those who are not famous but are also amazing. people like me who have had no friends at one point or another?  we should support everyone no matter if they are famous or not.